le premier jour du reste de ma vie ♥

   I thought i would share my wedding photos today with all of you. we had a wonderful wedding & reception thanks to judy & bob hart(table settings & backdrops) , my in-mom and dad (cept me sane, grocery shopped & got lots of things for our recption and wedding), my parents( cept me sane, spent weeks preparing the property), hollys flowers in port townsend wa (flowers & my beautiful boquet!), justin winders (set up & best man flew up from cali to be there) , my brothers & sisters (did everything), eva christenson (set up & maid of honor & make up), shanna vandenberg (wedding dress alterations & baby dress), margie muller (cake & oooooh she made our favorites & the cakes we're beautiful!) & so many more! everything was abesolutley perfect & it is one of the best days of my life outside of the birth of my daughter & meet my husband.

My Rings!

My shoes, i had that walk around outside all day & didnt want to do heals so i picked these out,

I do... From left to right eva, me, my husband, justin.

Hugging butch, one of our favorite people in the world, it was such an honor to have him marry us.

One Of The Many Poses....I Swear we were standing there for ever.

One of my favorite photos...bling!

      These are just some of my favorites from our big day. I have yet to track down the photos of the wedding party & the m.f.o.b and m.f.o.g pics...but as soon as i get them i will post.

où dans le monde est abbigale ♥

  My husband and i came up with an idea for this summer. we plan to go to different areas around Washington and take pictures of our daughter next to landmarks and leave clues of her where abouts. our cousins torri and lizzie will be the ones trying to guess where she is. if they guess right we'll be sending them a prize!! i thought it would be a fun way to keep in touch & get to know the girls. :D

mouche bebe ♥

     For Christmas my in-mom (mom in law) made me this wonderful binder that guarantees to help me get organized and gain control over my house work and life. The contents of this journal are made by http. this program, or way of life would be more appropriate, promises to give you peace of mind and a sense of accomplishment. hello, that's what I'm going for here! let me share this with you.://www.flylady.com

FLY LADY'S ELEVEN COMMANDMENTS

1.keep your sink clean and shiny
2. get dressed every morning, down to shoes, even if you don't feel like it, it will make you feel better.
3. do your morning and before bed routines everyday!
4. don't allow yourself to be sidetracked by your computer,
5, pick up after yourself. if you get it out put it away as soon as your done.
6. don't try to do two projects at once. ONE JOB AT A TIME.
7. don't pull out more than you can put away in an hour.
8. do something for yourself every day, maybe every morning and night.
9. work as fast as you can to get the job done, this will give you more time for play later.
10. smile even when you don't feel like it. it is contagious, make your mind up to be happy and you will.
11. don't forget to laugh everyday. pamper yourself, you deserve it.

   there are also menus for meals, shopping lists, clutter free tips, routines, and the baby steps program that get you slowly into the swing of things. apparently it take 28 days to form a habit. just after two days of this I've got the house looking really good I'm caught up on all my back work, and i feel better being dressed than i did mopping around in my PJ's all day. ahhh, accomplishments. its really just the cutest program and really helps. so if your busy and need a routine, sort on time and cant catch up, or have a room in your house that you don't want company to see. check out fly lady! i love it. oh, and fly stands for Finally Loving Yourself. how cute is that? this lady is a genius! there's missions that they send you. like 27 pick up. it tells you to go through your house and pick 27 things to throw away, and as soon as you got 27 in the bag toss it out, don't even look at it. no rescues! then it goes on to having you pick 27 things to donate to goodwill, ect. this cuts down on clutter and you will feel better having donated something.

   I'm already on the way with my goal of being a better wife & mommy. thanks mom for the wonderful gift! i adore it.

femme au foyer

la vie que je connais ♥

     I have been struggling the last few months. Trying to juggle a home, a one year old, and a brand new marriage, and that has been a challenge. Being 20 years old and going from 0 to mommy in nothing flat, my life has been on fast forward for the last two years. Lets just say my pregnancy and relationship started out in less traditional ways. Shame on me! But in the end  I've been truly blessed to have had it work out the way it has. The adjustment to SAHM hasn't been as hard as i thought it would be and i enjoy it.


     Although, due to current events I'm feeling a lack of purpose, the day to day blandness and the constant head butting with my husband (I'll get to that soon) is just wearing on me, often times I'm treated like a door mat. So I've decided to make this upcoming year the year of change. I vow to become a better mother, wife, friend and person. I'm going to have adventures, concur fears, find my self, let go of the past and most importantly achieve the feeling of having purpose again.


   On my wedding day i heard the phrase "the first year's the hardest" little did i know how hard it could be. During my reception i got a lot of "good lucks" and "stay strongs" from our guests, which completely baffled me. Now, i know, now i know. This has definitely been a bumpy ride so far...don't get me wrong my husband is a very good man. He is compassionate, faithful, honest, loving, funny, a great father, and sweet. Then sometimes, he is the most inconsiderate, sarcastic, and clueless person i have ever met. He can just be just outright dense sometimes. I know, that's a little harsh, but Oooo sometimes i just wanna shake him!




  I should tell you a little bit about my husband dearest. My husband is in The United States Navy, and fortunately he isn't the average sailor. He's not a drinker or a cheater, and is done sowing wild oats. I met tom in january of 09, and started to spend a lot of time with him. After two weeks of house sitting, we moved in together. Three weeks later he was shipped of to Korea to meet his ship. I was left behind without knowing whether or not there was a relationship anymore, after a black out period (when they cut communications) of two weeks he started to write. We vowed to be loyal. I caught the flu and had it for about 3 weeks and couldn't get rid of it. lol Thats about the time i found out i was pregnant. I wrote that email, with shaking hands and tears on my face, i felt stupid i knew better than to be so reckless, guilty because he might not be the type that wanted to deal with it, and scarred because it was my first pregnancy.


     He wrote back to say that he was exstatic! The he was soo exicted he couldn't sit down and spent the last half hour telling everyone he saw on the boat the good news. For 6 months after that we wrote emails daily and got to know eachother. When he was in port we took things slow ( i know it seems completely lame being how i was already pregnant but i wanted to know that it was meant to be) we spent alot of time talking and making plans for our daughter. We got a duplex to rent  andsent up our house. Slowly but surely, we had a home and a very good realationship. We got engauged in febuary 2010.  Things have been very good since,(not including current events, still getting to that) and we had a beautiful, small, garden wedding in august.


    On to current events......


  The struggles started about 4 months ago. His reenlistment is coming up in march. We discussed plans of him getting out of the navy. His current ship is due out to the gulf for a lengthy underway this year. The thought of him being away from his new family and especially our daughter, for such a long period of time killed him. So he flirted with the idea of using the training, schooling, and experience he had in the navy to do a different job outside of the service.

    First it was to be a fire fighter, after researching and taking to local firefighters, we found that in Washington it was really difficult to make it a career and that we'd be lucky to even get a shot at the seasonal big fires and it's super dangerous.

Then, it was being a police officer, two years of schooling and no income didn't sound like a risk we should take, even roughing it which i offered to get a job ect and try to make it but there has been so many cuts in the police forces that people were getting forced to retire early.

     Finally, it was the shipyard. They lay off and drop guys constantly, sure its really good pay but how long will that last? With the economy being the way it is, it just seemed like a big gamble. In fact two days ago all the contractors we bought off by a larger company based out of California leaving over 1,000 people without a job during the holiday and over 2,000 people applying for the new jobs opening up.


   Anyways, this is how the last few months have gone, my husband doesn't apply anywhere, he doesn't look further into the the fields he wants to go into, he just talks about it, or gets his info from B.S.er (excuse the language)  guys that are in the parking garages or hanging around the shipyard. I tell him the info I've dug up, express conern about future employers, conern about the ecomnomy, told him to start with apps back in september, offered to help with a resmue almost every other day. I was met with "there's plenty of time", "i know they'll hire me", ect.

    Then November rolled around. My husband still hadn't decided exactly what he was doing. He went from "i'm going to do the shipyard" to reinlisting.  Meanwhile our bank account isn't looking good. There's rent and bills to pay and we're barely making it. which is another strain on the both of us. that's what we get for not being frugal.


    One day we get into a tiff. I had told him that if he wanted to do the shipyard he should really get his app in and do a resmue and fast! That time was running out and with him comepeting with 2,000 or so others for a job and he should get on it. He snapped, which was going to happen because he's been as stressed out and scarred as i am. "well, if you would be a supportive wife and you actually believed in me we wouldn't be here, you're forcing me to reenlist and i don't want to." He went on to say that I needed work in being a wife, a mother, and  running the house.

    He litterally attacked all sides of my womanhood. I was so hurt. I take pride in being the mom that i am, i have a wonderful daughter, who is very bright and she's a good baby (not that there are any bad ones) and i keep the house very nice, sure i could use a better routine and not cram stuff into a closet instead of finding a place for things(a bad habit i didn't get rid of from when i was in high school), but i'm not a merry maid & i chase a one year old around during the day.


   This is about the time that i just felt like a pile of dog doody, i adore this man and of course i want him to adore me. I want to feel that he couldn't do this without me. That I matter, that I make a difference in his life. Then I'm told I'm a hindrence. It hurts. Ever since then he's been an arse. He gives me what he calls "constuctive critisism" which really is "this is how you do this, but my way is better". Then there's when i want to go see my friends or family "i don't understand why you have to spend so much in gas when you can just call them" gee, they're my support and i didn't know i had to explain my free time to you. This is when he goes underway that I go, when i'm all alone at the house. Why not go see my friends and family? Or, the worst one is his control factor like its his job to father and quide me. Hello i'm my own person, and i will conduct myself the way that i see fit. I'm in no mood for a power stuggle, i've been there before in another relationship. I belive everyone is different, everyone has quirks, phobais, faults, and we're all entitled to them. That's what makes us human. tha'ts what make us different.  

    I've expressed all this to him and explained in atleast a hundred different ways how hurtful and descrutive it is. He just can't understand. He gets deffencive and says that i he didn't mean this, that, or the other thing. Or it's "what i said was" .... just a dead end. Unsure of what to do i just decided i guess i'll work on me. Focus on me for once in a long time, being a mom, and i just hope he wakes up. I think he also needs things to be more stable and know what to expect at home. Like i said he's as freaked out as i am. He's never ever this way it just seems the closer we get to reinlistment the more tense things get.

   Wow, this got lengthy, If you're still here and haven't fallen asleep on your keyboard, i appologize i just needed to get that all out of me. I feel much better about it. Anyways I've got a pile of laundry that needs folding. toodles.

femme au foyer